Out comes @Mambi behind a lecturn lecturing us on the history of cats and their importance to furry kind
I insert some gum and popscicle sticjs
I insert some gum and popscicle sticjs
The Vending Machine Mk. II
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Out comes some gum and popsicle official corporate mascot character fanfiction.
I insert my RAT LICENSE
I insert my RAT LICENSE
Out comes a map of all the best restaurant garbage bins and waterways.
I insert my "medical catnip" card.
I insert my "medical catnip" card.
Out comes a kilo of skeevy medicinal catnip.
I insert a card on which have written "ratnip?" experimentally
I insert a card on which have written "ratnip?" experimentally
It dispenses a baggy of something that looks like catnip. When you open it, the smell makes you boggle happily!
I insert an empty Ziplock bag
I insert an empty Ziplock bag
Out comes Ziplock, the anthro mantis. "Whatchu doin' with my bag there buddy?", he asks.
I insert a bag of MANTIS CHOW
I insert a bag of MANTIS CHOW
Out comes a pair of pseudopupil glasses 
and a note stating "I'm looking at you! Or am I?"
I insert a pamphlet for the Chow Gar Family style of Southern Mantis Kung Fu
and a note stating "I'm looking at you! Or am I?"I insert a pamphlet for the Chow Gar Family style of Southern Mantis Kung Fu
Out comes a pamphlet for the competing Northern Scurrying Rat Family Style of Kung Fu, the primary techniques of which focus on drawing a submachine gun during a fight and shooting your opponents with it.
I insert my BAT LICENSE (from last Halloween).
I insert my BAT LICENSE (from last Halloween).
Out pops a spiked baseball bat like the one wielded by Neggan in The Walking Dead. You smile as this is clearly a fair trade!
I insert an old piece of lint I plucked from my tail fur.
I insert an old piece of lint I plucked from my tail fur.
Out comes an old issue of CAT TAIL FANCIER MAGAZINE.
I insert the tip of one of my whiskers.
I insert the tip of one of my whiskers.
Nothing pops out, as your whiskers are sooo soft they bend on contact with any surface, causing no reaction in the machine at all.
I insert the tip of my razor-sharp claw...
I insert the tip of my razor-sharp claw...
Out comes a brand new scratching post with a card reading To: Mambi From: The Vending Machine Mk. II with love
I insert an armidillo
I insert an armidillo
Out comes a game cartridge for "Segasonic the Hedgehog" (https://info.sonicretro.org/Mighty_the_Armadillo)
I insert a DVD of "Night of the Lepus"
I insert a DVD of "Night of the Lepus"
Out comes a trailer for Night of the Lepus 2: Day of the Lepus
I insert a deck of Cards Against Humanity
I insert a deck of Cards Against Humanity
Out comes the most hardcore of all card games, so unbelievably dangerous: Men have killed for lesser thrills.
I insert my DVD copy of "Rémy and Marcelle Go Wild: Mating Seasoning" into the vending machine (don't worry, I have a spare copy).
I insert my DVD copy of "Rémy and Marcelle Go Wild: Mating Seasoning" into the vending machine (don't worry, I have a spare copy).
Oh, and some "Rémy and Marcelle Go Wild: Mating Seasoning" fanfiction, which is even weirder than the movie.
I insert a silly private RP reference that makes no sense whatsoever to anyone but the persons involved
Out pops a cup of Oxygala.
I insert a summary of the entire ancient greek school of philosophy, however, everything is explained by relating the ideas to yogurt, with yogurt metaphors and yogurt-formulas.
I insert a summary of the entire ancient greek school of philosophy, however, everything is explained by relating the ideas to yogurt, with yogurt metaphors and yogurt-formulas.