NSFW The corrupted wish game, NSFW allowed

[Ravofox]

Granted! It's a huuuuge lion! Cuddly, yes...but won't be once they wake up

I wish lions actually got off of their lazy asses more and actually look alive when I visit the zoo. They're supposed to be the 'mane' attraction after all

 

[RhosSalix]

Uh? Granted. Minimal alterations necessary. I don't have to lift a finger with this wish, it's impressively shortsighted just on its own. Zoo customer mortality rates have almost never been higher, and zookeepers fare even worse.
I wish I could, like, shapeshift extremely minimally at will. just like, make my ass rounder around your wife or my muscles bulkier when I need to lift something.

 

[Spilo]

I wish I could, like, shapeshift extremely minimally at will. just like, make my ass rounder around your wife or

(but I don't have a wife.. can you make your ass rounder around me instead? :3)

I mean, granted!! Except, like you said, your shapeshifting is extremely minimal, meaning that your shapeshiftings can only be perceived by mere millimeters and that's about it.

I wish I knew how to use these damn chopsticks keeps puncturing food with them

 

[RhosSalix]

(Of course, cutie~ c'mere and have a look :3)

Granted. You now know exactly how to do it. You're just bad at the execution.

I wish I was completely immune to disease. This "waking up sick" stuff sucks.

 

[Faust]

Granted! You still get sick, but for some reason doctors are no longer able to diagnose what's causing the problem, so they are technically classified as Syndromes, not Diseases.

I wish for dental insurance.

 

[RhosSalix]

You, uh. Okay. I mean, if you want. Here you go. Is this the part where I explain that insurance is an economic parasite and that you and literally everyone in your native country is better off if insurance is outlawed for the racketeering scam that it is?

I wish that my native country would outlaw insurance for the racketeering scam that it is so that healthcare and automotive prices can normalize.

 

[Faust]

You, uh. Okay. I mean, if you want. Here you go. Is this the part where I explain that insurance is an economic parasite and that you and literally everyone in your native country is better off if insurance is outlawed for the racketeering scam that it is?

You can if you like, but I live in the UK, not the US. We don't HAVE to have dental insurance. The problem I have is that, when COVID hit, a lot of dentists purged their patient lists and I've been unable to get back on the books since.

 

[metatherat]

I wish that my native country would outlaw insurance for the racketeering scam that it is so that healthcare and automotive prices can normalize.

You got it! Sadly, this means that the whole country is awash with roving bands of outlaw insurance agents, you can barely step out of your house without getting waylaid by a group of them forcing you to make a "life insurance contract" at gunpoint :O

I wish people were nicer to us rats. And that they fed us yogurt while petting us gently :3

 

[Spilo]

Granted! People are nicer to skunks instead, and they are fed yogurt and other kinds of foods while being petted :3
(Hmm, the genie may be a bit biased)

I wish energy drinks didn't taste to bad XD

 

[RhosSalix]

Granted. I've altered your taste profile. Nothing will ever taste the same again. Have fun experiencing qualia firsthand!

I wish I could prove I'm not faking this illness after I was already sick like a couple days ago. MF came for round 2 and bossman don't believe it.

 

[Mambi]

GRANTED!

<your boss arrives at the door as you drag yourself to open it. Using the last of your strength, you claw at his knees to lift your weary aching head and as he watches in horror, you start retching violently, soaking his pants and shoes in horrific greenish fluids as he gasps in horror...but now undoubtedly convinced!!!>


I wish I could be healthy and active forever!

 

[RhosSalix]

Hm. It appears you've wished for a variant of Immortality. This concept has been deeply philosophically explored before you thousands of times. All things must end, but in the uncountable infinite years of boredom it takes for the last black dwarf to lose the last quanta of stellar stability to create the last supernova and thus, the last thing that will ever happen, ever... will you regret your wish to be eternally healthy and active, or will the relative blink of an eye that represents the Earth's lifespan be worth it, to you?

I wish I had the motivation to finish making that mod for the video game I enjoy.