The Vending Machine Mk. II

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes @Mambi behind a lecturn lecturing us on the history of cats and their importance to furry kind

I insert some gum and popscicle sticjs

 

[metatherat]

Out comes some gum and popsicle official corporate mascot character fanfiction.

I insert my RAT LICENSE

 

[Mambi]

Out comes a map of all the best restaurant garbage bins and waterways.

I insert my "medical catnip" card.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a kilo of skeevy medicinal catnip.

I insert a card on which have written "ratnip?" experimentally

 

[xxDisorderly_C0nductxx]

It dispenses a baggy of something that looks like catnip. When you open it, the smell makes you boggle happily!

I insert an empty Ziplock bag

 

[metatherat]

Out comes Ziplock, the anthro mantis. "Whatchu doin' with my bag there buddy?", he asks.

I insert a bag of MANTIS CHOW

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Out comes a pair of pseudopupil glasses and a note stating "I'm looking at you! Or am I?"

I insert a pamphlet for the Chow Gar Family style of Southern Mantis Kung Fu

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a pamphlet for the competing Northern Scurrying Rat Family Style of Kung Fu, the primary techniques of which focus on drawing a submachine gun during a fight and shooting your opponents with it.

I insert my BAT LICENSE (from last Halloween).

 

[Mambi]

Out pops a spiked baseball bat like the one wielded by Neggan in The Walking Dead. You smile as this is clearly a fair trade!

I insert an old piece of lint I plucked from my tail fur.

 

[metatherat]

Out comes an old issue of CAT TAIL FANCIER MAGAZINE.

I insert the tip of one of my whiskers.

 

[Mambi]

Nothing pops out, as your whiskers are sooo soft they bend on contact with any surface, causing no reaction in the machine at all.

I insert the tip of my razor-sharp claw...

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a brand new scratching post with a card reading To: Mambi From: The Vending Machine Mk. II with love

I insert an armidillo

 

[Mambi]

Out comes a game cartridge for "Segasonic the Hedgehog" (https://info.sonicretro.org/Mighty_the_Armadillo)

I insert a DVD of "Night of the Lepus"

 

[Bunny Lvr]

Out comes a trailer for Night of the Lepus 2: Day of the Lepus

I insert a deck of Cards Against Humanity

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Out comes the most hardcore of all card games, so unbelievably dangerous: Men have killed for lesser thrills.



I insert my DVD copy of "Rémy and Marcelle Go Wild: Mating Seasoning" into the vending machine (don't worry, I have a spare copy).

 

[metatherat]

I insert my DVD copy of "Rémy and Marcelle Go Wild: Mating Seasoning" into the vending machine (don't worry, I have a spare copy).

Out comes Rufus the rat, who has been entering and exiting the vending machine for the last 30 minutes repeatedly :P
Oh, and some "Rémy and Marcelle Go Wild: Mating Seasoning" fanfiction, which is even weirder than the movie.

I insert a silly private RP reference that makes no sense whatsoever to anyone but the persons involved

 

[Spilo]

You get a picnic blanket and basket

I insert a thing

 

[metatherat]

Out comes a can of "THING!" soda, "NOW WITH UNSPECIFIED FLAVOR!!"

I insert a small small cup of yogurt.

 

[Wuff-Wuff]

Out pops a cup of Oxygala.

I insert a summary of the entire ancient greek school of philosophy, however, everything is explained by relating the ideas to yogurt, with yogurt metaphors and yogurt-formulas.

 

[metatherat]

Unfortunately, out come formulas as in the F1 sort of formulas. Things have suddenly gotten quite odd, with the yogurt philosophy formulas leaving long strands of philosophy yogurt all over the racing track. And so forth.

I insert a pair of race-watching binoculars.